Reader Submission #2

The fearless MadDawg recently returned from a trip to Alaska, and look what she brought me!:

A butt-shot of a Mama Bear and Baby Bear!  Awwww.  Precious.

Remember dear readers: when traveling around this great globe, don't waste your money on souvenir spoons*.  Just bring me back a picture of an animal's butt and I'll be pleased as punch.

To view the rest of my collection, click here.

*Don't Waste Your Money on Souvenir Spoons is actually the title of my as-yet-unwritten self-help book on fiscal responsibility.

Reader Submission

A million (and one) thanks to MadDawg and The Pulse - two sweet friends who sent me this sweet shot of an animal's butt, all the way from the great state of Colorado!

Check out the artistic photo composition, the pretty fall foliage, the unaware animal caught with his/her proverbial pants down.  This photo is a fine addition to my collection.

Now, this animal...is it a moose?  An elk?  A reindeer!?!  I don't know.

But I do know that I'm happy to have friends who support my art.  :)  Thanks, girls!!


[PS - All this talk of autumn colors and Colorado reminds me of a song by Eddie from Ohio - "Old Dominion" - that makes a case for which state (or commonwealth) is the best of the best for those 'fireworks of fall.'  Virginia pride, y'all.  Check it.] 

Spotted: Alpaca Butt / Head

Looking in at the Central Park Zoo


Check out more examples of my "work" here.  You won't regret it. 

(Or maybe you will.  I can't predict the future.)

Butts of Burden

Don't say I never brought you nothin' from my vacation.  Because I did.  I brought you this animal butt shot of a St. John wild donkey.

You're welcome.

Because It's Been Awhile

Albino Peacock Butt

Happy Weekend!

Here's looking at you, kids.

Cat Butt

I was sitting on a stone bench in Ft. Tryon Park on Saturday morning, having some lovely quiet time, when this stray cat came along and interrupted me.

So I took a picture of his butt.

And now I'm showing it to you.

The circle of life...

Or something like it.

(Seymour Butts here.)
(Yes, I am in 4th grade)

Because It's Wednesday...

...and because I like you, please enjoy this picture of a horse's behind.

Thrillering


Happy Halloween, y'all. I was thinking that, in honor of this spook-a-riffic holiday, I would post a very, very, very freaky frightening video for your viewing pleasure:





Egads, that was terrifying. And speaking of monkeys...

Monkey butt! As seen last weekend in
the Central Park Zoo

Bird Butt Tuesday

A Sea Gull Derierre

Some of you (those less visionary than myself) may have doubts about the artistic integrity of my Animal Butt Shot series of photography. That is ok; as an artist, I expect to be misunderstood.

The very fact that the general public misunderstands what I am doing in some way legitimizes my aims and tells me that I am on the right track.

So, thank you. Thank you for not getting it.

However, I do want to address the (mostly imagined) concerns that my art in some way exploits or demeans the subjects of my photography. Aka animals. And their butts.

While I appreciate your impulse to defend the (seemingly) defenseless, I would like to posit that animals are both willing and worthy subjects and you should not feel sorry for them.

Why? Because:

1) Animals love attention.

They're always making noises to get us to notice them - "Hoot hoot!" and "Moo moo!" and "Look at me, I'm a fancy parrot!" That kind of thing. Some of them go so far as to learn darling tricks (like that squirrel who could water-ski) in order to claim some air time on your local news. Air time that could have been spent on a story about the sorry state of your local public schools, but do you think that water-skiing squirrel cares about your kids' education? No, he does not. He just wants to be noticed.

Ergo - my photography gives animals what they want - attention.

2) Animals are exhibitionists.

Building on Point #1, let me also assert that if animals didn't want photographs taken of their behinds, then they could cover themselves up with crudely-fashioned natural-fiber sarongs made from materials that they scavenged from their woodland homes or from trashcans in the park. But have you ever seen an animal in such a sarong?

I thought not.

That's because animals love to run around naked. Have you ever tried to put a plaid turtle-neck sweater on a terrier? You have? And what happened? He didn't like it, did he? No, he did not.

That's because terriers and all other animals are comfortable with their bodies and prefer to roam around au naturale. They're putting it on display every day out there for the masses; I hardly think they would mind my four (4) readers taking a closer look on this here blog.

3) Animals are mean.

Even if Points #1 & #2 were not true (and they are true - so very, very true), I would still believe that my art is not exploitative nor unfair, because let's face it - animals have it coming to them.

You know what I'm talking about. Animals. Attack. People.

Bears, tigers, sharks, rhinoceri, even mackerels. They're all just hanging out, looking for an excuse to bite you.

And some of them (I don't want to name names, but - DEER! ELK! I'm looking in your direction) will total your car if you have the misfortune of crossing paths with them on a deserted country road late at night.

Sometimes they escape from their confinements and wreak havoc on traffic patterns of major metropolitan highways, invariably during rush hour.

Animals are just plain mean and inconsiderate.

Thus, I feel little remorse for posting pics of their butts. And you, gentle reader, should feel no remorse for enjoying the photos. Because you do enjoy the photos, don't you?

I thought so.

Looking Back at the 4-H Fair

I traveled to Indiana last weekend to spend some time laughing - I mean, seriously laughing - with friends from college. Girls - I love you more than my luggage. Can't wait to laugh our way through New Mexico in the near future!

We spent our Friday night at the local 4-H county fair. Hot dog - such opportunity to expand my portfolio of animal butt shots!

Here's a sampling. And - you're welcome.



Apologies for the slight blur. This lovely cow wouldn't stop swish-swishing her tail, not even for the sake of art. Sheesh.



Tomorrow's pork - up close and probably way too personal.



Awww, that's a nice one. Don't you agree?



Hello, Mr. Sheep! Don't mind me. Just violating your personal space and dignity. If I wasn't so committed to my art, I might indeed feel a tad sheepish about it.

Hee hee. Sheepish. Sorry, readers! But puns are art, too.

And now I ask you - what's your art?

Swan Butt Saturday

If you've got it - flaunt it:
A Prospect Park swan shows off his...assets

Some of you may remember that, once upon a time, I decided to take a bunch of pictures of animal butts. Some of you may have been hoping to see more examples of this work on my blog, and if so, this post is for you! Please do enjoy. But don't enjoy it too much, because that would be weird.

Turtle Butt Thursday

Diary of a Girl Without Commitments

Today is my 5th day of Freedom since my class ended. The last 2+ months made for one long haul; pretty much every minute of free time was zapped by course work, with every other minute zapped by guilt when I wasn't doing course work. A vicious cycle, indeed, which ended Saturday morning at 9am when I dropped all my course materials in the mail and began...the Rest of My Life.

So far the Rest of My Life has been going ok. It started with that fortuitous vacuum cleaner sighting, and continued with a walk in Central Park. I hadn't slept at all the night before, but the day was too sunny and too Spring-y to stay home napping. While traipsing around the Reservoir, enjoying the newly-flowering trees and counting the number of turtles I passed (22!), I came up with the brilliant and hilarious plan to compile a portfolio of pictures of animal butts. (PS-If you don't agree that this idea is both brilliant and hilarious, then you probably aren't sleep-deprived.)

Please enjoy this sampling of my work, a photo I call "Double-Geese-Butt Shot":

The rest of Saturday and Sunday passed in a blur of productive cleaning and napping and recovery. I tested out my new M.O. of asking "What do you want to do right now?" instead of "What do you have to do?" It felt pretty good. Life felt pretty good, really - more interesting and hope-full than it has in a while. I took deep breaths. I took long walks. I stretched.

Sunday night my friend BANaNAs rolled into town for a couple of days, and we celebrated the Rest of My Life by eating good food & good pastries, and talkin' 'bout life, careers, Scandinavia, and of course, Kurt Browning. Leaving work Monday evening for a stroll up Madison Ave. with a friend, instead of rushing off to a coffee shop to spend quality time with my text books, felt great! More deep breaths.

Today, however, I fear the sheen of this newfound freedom is dulling slightly. I don't quite know what to do with myself, with my free time, and with The Rest of My life (ah, the $million$ question). Do I read this book, or that book? Job search? Watch a movie? Go to bed at 8pm every night? Take up oil painting and macrame and sign up for a tango class?

Now, what I really need to do, what my head & heart really need me to do, is a whole bunch of soul-searching, prayerful self-reflection. I'm not so good at reflection. It doesn't fit neatly on a To-Do list, because reflection often involves sitting quietly somewhere, not doing anything, ostensibly.

Nonetheless, there's no way around it. So stay tuned for more on what I've learned over the past few months, reflections on my future, and of course my ongoing struggle with time-management (now that sounds like gripping reading, doesn't it, people!?