Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Bird Butt Tuesday

Gull Butt
A Sea Gull Derierre

Some of you (those less visionary than myself) may have doubts about the artistic integrity of my Animal Butt Shot series of photography. That is ok; as an artist, I expect to be misunderstood.

The very fact that the general public misunderstands what I am doing in some way legitimizes my aims and tells me that I am on the right track.

So, thank you. Thank you for not getting it.

However, I do want to address the (mostly imagined) concerns that my art in some way exploits or demeans the subjects of my photography. Aka animals. And their butts.

While I appreciate your impulse to defend the (seemingly) defenseless, I would like to posit that animals are both willing and worthy subjects and you should not feel sorry for them.

Why? Because:

1) Animals love attention.

They're always making noises to get us to notice them - "Hoot hoot!" and "Moo moo!" and "Look at me, I'm a fancy parrot!" That kind of thing. Some of them go so far as to learn darling tricks (like that squirrel who could water-ski) in order to claim some air time on your local news. Air time that could have been spent on a story about the sorry state of your local public schools, but do you think that water-skiing squirrel cares about your kids' education? No, he does not. He just wants to be noticed.

Ergo - my photography gives animals what they want - attention.

2) Animals are exhibitionists.

Building on Point #1, let me also assert that if animals didn't want photographs taken of their behinds, then they could cover themselves up with crudely-fashioned natural-fiber sarongs made from materials that they scavenged from their woodland homes or from trashcans in the park. But have you ever seen an animal in such a sarong?

I thought not.

That's because animals love to run around naked. Have you ever tried to put a plaid turtle-neck sweater on a terrier? You have? And what happened? He didn't like it, did he? No, he did not.

That's because terriers and all other animals are comfortable with their bodies and prefer to roam around au naturale. They're putting it on display every day out there for the masses; I hardly think they would mind my four (4) readers taking a closer look on this here blog.

3) Animals are mean.

Even if Points #1 & #2 were not true (and they are true - so very, very true), I would still believe that my art is not exploitative nor unfair, because let's face it - animals have it coming to them.

You know what I'm talking about. Animals. Attack. People.

Bears, tigers, sharks, rhinoceri, even mackerels. They're all just hanging out, looking for an excuse to bite you.

And some of them (I don't want to name names, but - DEER! ELK! I'm looking in your direction) will total your car if you have the misfortune of crossing paths with them on a deserted country road late at night.

Sometimes they escape from their confinements and wreak havoc on traffic patterns of major metropolitan highways, invariably during rush hour.

Animals are just plain mean and inconsiderate.

Thus, I feel little remorse for posting pics of their butts. And you, gentle reader, should feel no remorse for enjoying the photos. Because you do enjoy the photos, don't you?

I thought so.


That City Girl said...

i needed a good laugh this morning. thanks :)
(and, PS, i totally support the animal butt shot series. keep 'em coming)

Sonja said...

"Look at me, I'm a fancy parrot!" Woooo... good stuff... a tiny bit of lizzing may have just happened, but I won't confirm that fact...