Mitchin'

 
For some reason, the following Mitch Hedberg joke came to mind during my morning commute.  So I'm sharing it, along with some others.  Because it's Friday, and we should have a laugh.

"I wrote a letter to my dad - I was going to write, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really.

I still wanted to use it, though, I didn't want to cross it out. So I wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, Dad - there's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator."

This letter took a harsh turn right away..."

* * * 

"With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down.' With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go,' green means 'whoa, slow down,' and red means 'where the hell did you get that banana?'" 

* * *

"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home...Under 'D.'"

* * * 

"Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older" ... "How'd you pull that off?  Lemme see that camera!"" 

* * *

"I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread."

* * * 

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

Funny stuff.  I miss that guy.  Don't do drugs, kids!

Humor & life lessons: you're welcome.  Happy weekending.

Doing [blank] the [blank] Way

I have no intention of reading this book, because it really is about running a dental practice, but I find the title to be totally comedically inspiring:

Managing A Dental Practice The Genghis Khan Way

How else could we emulate a fierce Mongolian conqueror? 

• Raising Children...The Genghis Khan Way
• Navigating Your Divorce...The Genghis Khan Way
• Achieve Financial Security...The Genghis Khan Way
• Diet & Exercise...The Genghis Khan Way
• Gardening for Dummies...The Genghis Khan Way

And how else could we marry a historical figure/celebrity to a seemingly disparate field of study?

• Ryan Seacrest's DIY Manual for HVAC Maintenance and Repairs

• Lincoln Blogs: Lessons on Search Engine Optimization from America's 16th President

• What Would Jesus Roux? A Faith-Based Guide to French Cuisine

If you think of any others, let me know.  Inventing ridiculous book titles is now my new favorite form of entertainment.

From Quidditch to Polo:

Horsey Potter Rides Again

(Source: showhorsegallery.com)

I'd mentioned I was looking for pleasant distractions, and this does the trick: an article on BuzzFeed has pictures of horses dressed as Harry Potter.

Wait. Stop. Let me repeat: HORSES DRESSED AS HARRY POTTER!!

Fave quote:       "This is a thing, I guess."

What a wonderful world... 

Also, this begs the question - how else can we costume horses??  Personally, I'd love to see some dressed as film stars of the 1930's.  Roan Crawford...Mare-een O'Hara...Rudolph Palamino...Claudette Colt-bert...Ida LuPinto...I'll stop now.

Stefon, Illustrated

(Kinda kills me how often he breaks in this.  So fun to watch.)

One of the notes we’re often given in Improv is to incorporate specifics into our scene-work.  Don't just mention you have a dog - mention you have a Doberman.  Or better yet - an asthmatic Doberman.  The devil's in the details, and the details - they are funny.

It's one of the reasons I love Bill Heder's SNL character, Stefon.  His entire schtick is details: weird, weird, hilarious, weird details. Expired Lunchables, Alf in a trench coat, Asian Balki’s, German Smurfs, human bathmats, Spud Webb, A Fish Called Kwanza.  Love it.

(I also love how the character of Stefon came to be (watch here).  He's mash-up of real-life people. Truth in comedy, comedy in truth.)

Have you ever wondered what the NYC night clubs that Stefon so lovingly describes actually look like? Neither have I. But then I saw on the Hairpin last week that several artists had made Stefon-inspired sketches, and I got curious.  Check them out here.

(Source)

Oh, to live in Stefon's world for a New York minute...

There's Very Little I Don't Love About This

Sock It To Me

Playground on the Lower East Side

Oops. Seems like I took a little accidental break from blogging lately. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. I’d catch y’all up on the goings-on, except…I don’t want to. I don’t really want to relive it.

That maybe sounds more drastic than it needs to – just a bunch of hard family stuff and heart stuff. Life stuff. None of which really needs to be aired in public. All of which served to remind me, one more time, that adulthood is NO picnic, nor day at the beach, nor walk in the park.

Man. Growing up? Not for the faint of heart.

But there have been glimpses of grace along the way, these past couple of weeks. And maybe I will share those. Because maybe glimpses of grace are more valuable than tales of woe anyways, eh?

One form of grace I’ve been especially thankful for lately is laughter. That’s right – I’m here to tell you that laughter is a good thing (stay tuned for my revelatory posts on how murder is bad, and puppies are cute).

Because I haven’t felt much like laughing lately, those times where I have found myself laughing – at Improv class, or at Improv shows, or with friends, or while watching Reno911! Keeping Up Appearances – have been unexpected and welcome respites.

What is it about laughter? There is the physiological component – what laughter yoga and laughter clubs try to capitalize on. But I also think it just pulls me out of my head, makes me quit the worrying for just a sec and be present in the here and now. And I think it also gives me some sense of control – yeah, things might not be going great, but I’m going to choose to laugh anyways. Laughing in the face of danger, or sorrow, or whatnot.

In any case. I’ve been especially appreciative of those moments spent laughing lately. Here are some quotes from people wiser than me on the subject:

So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter. ~Gordon W. Allport

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit. ~Author Unknown

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. ~Jack Handey

Just For Laughs

My Improv teacher has a whole theory on laughter. Why we laugh, how we laugh, when we laugh, etc.  It's interesting, and I think I agree with most of it - except his hypothesis that we don't laugh out loud when we're alone. 

Because I definitely laugh out loud when I'm alone.  Not at nothing (I'm not crazy!) but if I'm home alone watching a TV show or a funny movie, I will often laugh out loud.

Especially when watching 30 Rock.  And especially when watching this particular episode of 30 Rock, where Tracy Jordan laments his childhood spent on the wrong side of the tracks:

(Source)

Weeks later, I'm still laughing (out loud) at a pack of wild dogs taking over and successfully running a Wendy's.

And Zachary Taylor generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time? Could this be the balm that heals an old family rift?  Only time will tell.

Dear Tina Fey & 30 Rock:

See you in September.

Fondly,
Kristy