Friday, April 13, 2012


For some reason, the following Mitch Hedberg joke came to mind during my morning commute.  So I'm sharing it, along with some others.  Because it's Friday, and we should have a laugh.

"I wrote a letter to my dad - I was going to write, "I really enjoy being here," but I accidentally wrote rarely instead of really.
I still wanted to use it, though, I didn't want to cross it out. So I wrote, "I rarely drive steamboats, Dad - there's a lot of sh*t you don't know about me. Quit trying to act like I'm a steamboat operator."
This letter took a harsh turn right away..."
* * * 
"With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down.' With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go,' green means 'whoa, slow down,' and red means 'where the hell did you get that banana?'" 
* * *
"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, "Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home...Under 'D.'"
* * * 
"Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older" ... "How'd you pull that off?  Lemme see that camera!"" 
* * *
"I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread."
* * * 
"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

Funny stuff.  I miss that guy.  Don't do drugs, kids!

Humor & life lessons: you're welcome.  Happy weekending.


Sonja said...

Man, he was funny... poor Mitch. :(

Anna said...

Ok, so I guess I've lived in a bubble, but I had never heard of Mitch before your post. Read it aloud to the husband, who recognized a few of the quotes. We then proceeded to youtube some of Mitch's performances, and I literally do not know when I have laughed so hard! It was fall off the couch kind of laughter. He was SOO funny! Then today I made my sisters and parents watch some clips too. Good times. Thanks for sharing! And one day when I'm back in the city, I'd like to get some laughs watching you do improv!

KristyWes said...

Yay!! So glad I could introduce you to the Hedberg humor!!