Thursday, June 03, 2010

In Which I Am Old and No Fun

Kids Today
Last year's Mad Hot Ballroom Competition, World Financial Center

My little cousin is 14.  I don't know how that happened, because I'm fairly certain he was 7 just last week.  But a quick glance at his Facebook page confirmed it - pictures of him playing junior varsity football, teasing messages to/from girls in his class, frequent use of abbreviations such as "idk" and "ur" and "lol," multiple status updates about being bored.  Yup - he's a teenager.

I scrolled through the Facebook pages that Lil Cuz has indicated he is a fan of, to educate myself on this now-teenager. Who is he?  Who are teenagers today, in general?  I don't get to interact with them frequently, so I wondered, "What are they like? What are they thinking?" and perhaps more personally pressing, "Can I still relate?"

I think the answer to that last question is, sadly, no. Below is a sampling of said pages, along with my questions and comments and general nit-picking.

I love walking past a class, see a friend, walk backwards then walk away :)

(I’ll have to take your word for it. I guess that could be fun, though.)

one of the hardest decisions ever is what to get out of the vending machine

(You are 14. This is probably still a true statement. Enjoy it!)

i HATE how girls think gym is a joke!! its some serious

(You are totes right, man. Gym is serious. I confess I did not take it very seriously myself, but I don't know idk maybe that’s because I once had a gym teacher who made our class play Ping-Pong every day for three months.) (PS – you know what else is some serious stuff? Knowing when to use “its” versus “it’s.” Just saying.)

5th grade flirting was such a joke.

(Let me guess – high school flirting is some serious stuff?)

Your Ugly...Stop Trying to Flirt With Me.

(Harsh! Don’t forget that beauty is subjective. Also don’t forget what is really ugly: bad grammar. “Your” vs “You’re,” kiddo.)

Sorry, but 1 word text messages really dont contribute to the conversation.

(Wait - why are you attempting to have a conversation via text message in the first place? Suggestion - dial the number and have an actual conversation.) (Also, you forgot an apostrophe.)

Some poeple are like penny's, 2 faced and worthless ;)

(Haha, good one! Just a couple of minor points here – pennies are technically not worthless and people are never worthless. Also, please note in that last sentence how I spelled ‘people’ and ‘pennies.’)

If your name starts with A, B, C, D, E, J, K, L, M, S, T then you're cool!!

(I’m confused by your reasoning. But I applaud the correct usage of “you’re”!)

I Like Tutles

(This is a fan page for Nestle chocolate turtle eggs. 129 people have joined this fan page, apparently indifferent or blind to the spelling error. Thay must rilly jus lik tutles.)

When We Were Little We Wanted To Grow Up... What The Hell Were We Thinking.

(You’re 14, little friend. Trust me – it gets better.)

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