KristyWes

Two-Faced Tuesday

Ok, just as I was getting all cuddly with Tuesday and patting myself on the back for being able to focus on the little things, the good things, the blessings of just being in the present moment - Tuesday decides to trip me up.

A last-minute end-of-day work request delays my departure a few minutes, which means I need to make a mad dash down to TriBeCa to get to Hebrew class on time. Outside, the snow is still falling. What had looked so pretty from inside my office a few minutes ago is now a hindrance - wet and slippery and slowing up my "mad dash" attempts.

I arrive at class only 5 minutes late - not too, too bad, considering. However, my classmates and teacher are nowhere to be found! I ask the building security guard, and he thinks my class was cancelled. He checks his records, makes a quick phone call - yup, cancelled. Didn't you get the message?

So there I am in TriBeCa. You can't tell, but when I typed "TriBeCa" just then I was using the same tone of voice one might use to exclaim "Timbuktu!" I mean, it just seems that far away from my own neighborhood. It's cross-town, for crying out loud! ("Cross-town" can be a dirty word for New Yorkers. As most subway lines run north-south, going cross-town gets complicated. Sometimes I get the melodramatic feeling that I'd just rather stay home than go cross-town.) So there I am, in Timbuktu, frustrated but...still trying to cling to that positivity I had felt earlier.

Ok, focus on the positive. Deep breaths. The snow - while wet & slippery, yes - has a certain charm. It's falling softly & the city looks pretty. Store owners are starting to scrape and salt the sidewalks outside their shops; people are getting to feeling a little communal and exchanging smiles as they slip past one another on the streets. Ok, this is nice. I decide to go home (cross-town!) change out of my work clothes and heels into something more weather-appropriate and go for a little winter wonderland walk.

One long subway ride and a crowded cross-town! bus trip later, I arrive on the Upper East Side, where I discover...the soft snow has turned to freezing rain! That kind of sleety stuff that stings your skin with unforgiving pings as it falls. Not good winter wonderland walking material.

There goes Plan B. Time for Plan C ("C" is for "Complain!") - I go home and vent a bit to my roommate. She is very sympathetic ("You had to go all the way to TriBeCa for nothing!? That's cross-town!"). I change into dry clothes and decide to watch a movie - SherryBaby, the story of a young mother who gets out of jail and gets her life back together. I figure it will be nice and uplifting. Nope. While wonderfully acted, the story is sad and a bit depressing. That's it - enough of Tuesday - good night!

Granted, nothing particularly bad happened to me. So I wasted an hour+ of time going a little out of my way, so I got cold & wet, so I watched a disheartening movie. No big deal, in the grand scheme of things. Certainly no famine, disease or disaster befell me. I just fully felt the irony of making a quick-turnaround from a mental place of positivity and thanksgiving to one of whiny irritability.

"Counting your blessings" isn't always easy - even when you are completely blessed with sympathetic friends and a dry, warm place to rest. "Counting your blessings" requires discipline, 'cause my mind naturally focuses on what's wrong instead of what's right. Yes, I suffered a little negativity relapse last night - but changing your perspective is an ongoing, long-term process.

So, blessing #1 on Wednesday morning: forgiveness and grace to try again.