|Near Columbus Circle|
I had a voice lesson this past week.
As aforementioned, I love voice lessons, but they are a challenge. Or maybe I love them because they are a challenge? Either way.
For so long I shied away from singing, convinced I was born with the desire but not the ability. I was embarrassed to try, scared to be found lacking. Thirty-plus years of thinking you can't do something results in not-a-little fear when it comes to the doing of that thing. What I mean is -
There's a fair amount of insecurities to be swallowed, before opening my mouth to sing.
At the lesson, after the requisite vocal warm-ups and exercises, but before the fun stuff (you know, the part where I actually get to sing a song), my teacher interjected a pep talk.
"It's not a level playing field, you know" she said, going on to explain that what is hard for me (i.e. smoothing out the break between my head voice and my chest voice) just comes easier for some of her other students. Their vocal chords, their mouths, their instruments just do naturally what I have to work hard at.
"But I really admire you," she said, "Because you're just like - 'So what? I'm here!'"
Huh. I like that picture of me. Yes, singing in front of people is scary. No, the skill set doesn't come naturally, it's not easy. And yeah - when aiming for certain notes, I'm going to miss a lot more than I succeed. At least for awhile. But you know? So what. I'm here.
I'm thinking 'bout embroidering that on a pillow and making it my new life motto.