Thursday, November 17, 2011

Bird at Reservoir
At the Reservoir
I was complaining to KT, en route from Zumba class to the smoothie shop, about how lately I was awfully tired of feeling.  Regret, fear, anger, just plain sadness.  I wanted to turn off the feelings for a freakin' hour or two, compartmentalize them, take a break from feeling all that I was feeling.

"It's why we're the stronger sex," KT suggested, as we dodged tourists to cross 42nd Street.  "It's because we feel everything."  (Cue Feist)

"We can't turn our minds or hearts off.  We just have to feel it."

The strength of such feeling may indeed be one of the downsides to being a girl. But as I've reflected on these past couple weeks, I've also been overwhelmed by one of the upsides: the strength of my female friendships.

KT helped me make hair cut decisions and then made me not one but two mix-cd's.  MadDawg sent a care package.  CJ let me crash on her couch.  BJ brought me gin & tonics. Others let me talk or not talk, cry or not cry.  Sweet friends sent emails, texts, left voice mails, gave hugs and good words.  They let me speak aloud the ugly fears.  They said "I know," and "I understand," and "I've felt that, too."

Being able to share so openly, being able to give one another permission to feel whatever the heck we're feeling, being able to encourage with hugs & compliments - stuff like that (at times like this) makes me thankful to be a girl.  And SO thankful for my friends.

Love you, lovies.

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