Friday, February 25, 2011

Phew. February.

NYC skyline & Reservoir, Take 3
Jackie O. Reservoir @ twilight

At the outset, I thought this month might be on the quieter side. My class schedule was scaled back and my calendar seemed (relatively) empty.

So I dreamed big for February: free time, nap time, time to read, time to (finally) edit pictures from Europe, time for new experiences (like Latin dance classes).  But - looking back - there was little space for any of that.  Life has a way of keeping you busy, and calendars have a way of filling up.

The past two weeks have been especially full – full of details and decisions and errands and general life-management stuff. Big reveal: I’m moving to a new apartment and super excited about it. But any move (even one that’s less than a mile up the street) involves a whole lot of logistics and planning and prep. All fine, and all good, and it will all get done.

But I’ve noticed that while my head is swamped with the minutiae of my To-Do lists, my heart has been a bit untended. There’s no room on my neatly-outlined color-coded Excel Spreadsheet of Life Management for big questions and deep thoughts. Interesting ideas enter one ear and are sifted out the other, with no time for reflection. While walking to/from the subway, instead of taking inventory on my emotions, I take inventory of my possessions – what stays, what goes to storage, what gets put in a bag for Goodwill. I’ve been sorting through books instead of scribbling in my journal. My MO lately has been “go go go!” instead of “be still! still! still!”

In other words – I’m feeling very surface-level. Slightly disconnected.  A little bit scattered.

That’s just how it is right now, in this interim, in this season. I’m not panicking, just being aware. I’m sure the fury of the To-Do lists will eventually fade and I’ll find my way back to quieter times and deeper things.

And I'm a'lookin forward to that.


look a little closer said...

Good luck with your move. Funny enough, I'm in the opposite boat and had been thinking a bit too much, so I've found the spreadsheets and lists to provide a welcome break. Hopefully after your move you'll have some quiet moments to be still and be more connected. I like your blog and your writing. Have a great weekend!


chloe said...

That's a great shot!