Thursday, November 08, 2007

Wanted

I need an alarm clock that doesn't take 'no' for an answer.

One that pinches me if I start in on any of that "5-minutes-more" foolishness.

Yes, a clock that uses physical force if necessary.

Perhaps it should even get snarky and ridicule me a little.

Call me names and prey on deep insecurities.

(though NOT in a way that makes me want crawl back under the covers!)
(in a way that gets me angry & awake & ready to prove the clock wrong.)

Speaking of covers, this alarm clock should have the capability to steal them from me.

Above all, it should instill FEAR in me.

(Maybe by threatening to release a mouse in my room if I don't get out of bed immediately)


Does such a device exist? I'm going to check the Sharper Image catalogue now.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

well, there's that clocky alarm clock that makes you have to run after it. . . . http://www.nandahome.com/

--Christina

Pynchon said...

I think it is called a husband or a wife.

Matt said...

Seeing as I too have been in search for the perfect alarm clock I found your post to be very funny! Well done.