Morning commutes have been bugging me lately. I'm sure it's just my imagination, but the trains all seem slower, and the subway cars more crowded, and the number of people coughing/sneezing on me more plentiful. #blerg #gross
But you know what isn't my imagination? That subway conductor yesterday, who sounded *exactly* like Marlon Brando, circa The Godfather.
And back in my Brooklyn days, there was a conductor on the R train who sounded *exactly* like Carol Channing.
If you have to be notified that you'll be late to work because of "train traffic ahead," it's a whole lot nicer to be told by a trusted figure from the golden age of Hollywood, rather than a total stranger. Wouldn't you agree?
Dear MTA,
If you promise to hire more celebrity impersonators to run your trains, I'll promise to stop complaining about the aggravating, germ-y, sardine can-like conditions of said trains. Do we have a deal?
Sincerely,
Me
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