|Grand Central Station|
It wasn't an easy decision. The guys in the group have become like brothers to me: encouraging, loyal, and protective. And lately our practices have been going so well - things have really been gel-ing and coming together and we've been laughing a lot.
But I've been re-evaluating things recently. My schedule in particular.
I was expecting a certain piece of heart-ache to come along (which it did) and I knew my knee-jerk reaction would be to fill up my schedule. To supplant this loss with a million new distractions.
It occurred to me, though, that being busy would not be a new thing. Being extremely busy has become my status quo over the past few years. I know from busy.
What would be new - what would be a radical departure - would be to not be busy.
* * *
I've also been recently mulling over a chapter in the book of Isaiah. Verse 43:19 in particular.
That's where God says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
I think this verse got stuck in my head initially because it sounds hopeful. God does new things? Yes, great. I love new things.
But then I began to wonder, "If God were to do a new thing in my life right now, would I be able to see it?" If God were to want to shake things up and move me in a different direction, would I have space in my life - in my schedule - to recognize this?
Now. I know God can speak as easily in loud thunder as he can in quiet whispers. So the question isn't really whether God could get my attention, given my current schedule. Sure, he could. But the question is: would I have space in my life to respond?
I sensed the answer was "no." I barely have time to respond to emails. I rarely have time to go to the grocery store. I definitely don't have time for silence, stillness, responsiveness.
And so I'm starting to make time, to make space. We'll see what happens.