Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Biz-E

Here's a funny little article about one woman's busy day. The author asks, "Can a person feel unbelievably busy without feeling unbelievably overwhelmed?" Goooood question.

I was pondering my life & busyness a bit on the subway ride to Tribeca yesterday, running late for my class and silently cursing the A-train that couldn't wait 2 seconds longer before leaving without me on it. October ended before I could even determine where September went, and my day-planner has become more indespensible to me in these last weeks than ever before in my life. And it's all good stuff, this busyness - dinners with friends, Scrabble dates, classes, concerts and culture, half-price margaritas, weekend road trips, all good stuff.

But yesterday I felt the need to revisit priorities and realistic time-management expectations. Lame! My To-Do list, however, just doesn't seem to want to squash down and fit into this 24-hour-day timeframe I have to work with, so something's gotta give. And lately what's been giving is my health; I've caught myself eating a lot of dinners at 10:30pm (and...by "dinner" I mean microwave popcorn) and I seem to have lost the address to my gym. I do recognize the need for balance, for self-care, for rest - unfortunately, though, these are the things I find easiest to shuffle to the bottom of my list when busyness calls.

Circumstances found me up very early last Sunday morning, waiting for a delivery. Of course, it didn't show up until the very end of the window of time the delivery people had specified, so that left me sitting on my couch, waiting for 2 hours.

But it was kind of wonderful.

As I wasn't sure when exactly the doorbell would ring, I couldn't get too involved in any one project on my To-Do list. Didn't want to start in on that Netflix movie I've had for 2 months if I'd have to stop it after 5 minutes, and couldn't run out to do laundry in case they arrived when I was gone, etc. So I just sat there. A little bit bleary-eyed, a little bit chilly (Hi, Fall!), listening and waiting.

I heard a lot of quiet, which is not a familiar sound in the city. I liked it. I liked sitting in it. I thought a little bit, but not too much, 'cause it was early. I noticed how my feet were cold, and the floorboards were cold, how the seasons were finally, really changing and I thanked God for that.

As I sat there, doing nothing, I felt myself show up to the moment. I was fully present - not worrying about what comes next, not procrastinating nor wasting time, just being. I had the inclination that if I spoke, God would listen - and if God spoke, I might actually hear.

It was kinda like a mini-Sabbath, and it was addictive. I've been craving another one all week. Sure, it seems basic stuff to recognize our need to rest, take a break, and be quiet. Previously I've given mental assent to that notion, but on Sunday I felt the effects it bore in my being. And now I'm entirely onboard. Top of my To-Do list now: figure out the ratio of busyness to quiet that I need in order to be able to enjoy being busy, being me, knowing God, and avoid being "overwhelmed."

2 comments:

SRH said...

Amen siter, Amen!

That City Girl said...

*you have inspired me* -- i totally hear ya...thanks for the reminder. (and i love your new page!)