KristyWes

Ain't No Thing

When I was sitting there in the Hilton Theater last week, taking in "Hot Feet" - I thought to myself, with not a little hubris, "I could write a musical like this. How hard can it be? Just take a group of pre-existing songs, borrow a fable, combine, and voila!" I am not a very inventive-creative type person, but I can borrow/steal ideas like nobody's business. (Actually, that is somebody's business; namely, copyright lawyers.)

I have actually thought of 2 ideas for musicals in the past, the specifics of which I am not at liberty to disclose on this public forum. Let's just say Cher, salty sailors and tax evasion figure prominently. It's just a matter now of sitting down and ironing out the little details of the shows, such as dialogue and plot.

I have also, in the past, tried my hand at song-writing. I think the results were quite good, but I'll let you decide for yourself. The following is a song I wrote about a parasitic worm that briefly lived in a roommate's leg. (I should explain that the worm's nickname was "Fat Bastard" and that he liked bacon.) Read over the song, then let me know if you'd ever pay good money to come see a show I had written.

Ode to Fat Bastard:
You are a worm, a little worm
You live inside of me
I give, and you are takin'
And you're crazy for the bacon.

Chorus:
Fat Bastard, Fat Bastard
I met you in Belize
under the palm trees
I brought you back home
like some garden gnome
that went and bit me!

Fat Bastard I cannot catch you
You're too icky and small
I feel you when you're shakin'
Like you're crazy for the bacon.

Go on and get out of my leg
I don't want you no more
My love, you are forsaken
Cause you're crazy for the bacon.

(repeat chorus)