Speaking of Foreign...

Let's talk about Paris. Hilton. (Seriously? Yes.) Let's briefly discuss her new reality TV show, where 20 people will live in a house, have their lives taped, and vie to become Ms. Hilton's new best friend.

Paris spoke to the AP about her plans, and was asked just what qualities she is looking for in a new best friend. Ms. Hilton answered that she's basically looking for someone who can handle the many challenges that come with being the friend of such a high-profile personality. When pressed to elaborate on said challenges, she explained:

"Just being in the media, just someone who's not going to care about that, just someone who cares about me."

No doubt she's picked an excellent venue - reality television - to find a person who doesn't care about being in the media. Best of luck to you, Paris!

It's Out There & I'm Missing It!

What's "out there"? Oh, just the whole rest of the world. The English countryside, Krakow, Bali, lakes I've never seen, cheeses I've never tasted, fast-talking natural-fiber-wearing people I've never met. I'm stir-crazy for travel lately. Looking at pictures of foreign locales and reading OPTB's (Other People's Travel Blogs) doesn't help - vicarious living just isn't cutting it these days. I want to go, too!

If you don't hear from me for awhile, it could be because I'm real lazy about writing. Or...it could be because I snapped, quit my job, and jumped ship to Guatemala.

If we're being honest here (and I think we should be, don't you?) it's probably due to the former (i.e. laziness), but I like to believe it could be the latter - that I really could just up-and-go and let the world be my oyster: slimy and weird-looking (?). I want to believe the tethers of "fiscal responsibility" and "pragmatism" and "the weakened U.S. dollar" are not so binding that they can't be overcome and sidestepped, when heeding that siren song of the Open Road.

Until I decide to test those tethers and break free from the Land of Beige Cubicles, here I sit - holding out hope my passport will (soon) see the light of day again...

If I Had a River...

My friend, Bananas, was in town this week to attend a career workshop type-thing. She had to do a lot of exercises related to interests/strengths/goals/aspirations. You know the type - "If money were no object, what would you do with yourself?" That kind of thing.

One interesting question Bananas had to answer, and one she asked me as we walked home via Madison Avenue, was, "If you had $10 million that you had to spend on yourself, what would you do with it?" No giving it to charity, no paying off your parents' mortgage, no buying Vespas for deserving Italian nuns - you have to spend this (imaginary) money on yourself. What would you do?

We were waiting to cross 57th street when she posed this question - Tiffany's was one block away (oh, those coveted blue boxes!), stores filled with beautiful things by nearly every famous designer were within walking distance. But the very first thought in my head, the instantaneous idea, the no-question-about-it- this-is-what-I-would-buy image was not jewelry or pretty things, not a Rogue nor a condo, but: An ice skating rink.

Of course, of course, I would build myself an ice-skating rink, and be as happy-ever-after as this bloomer-ed Alpine chick. Skating makes me so very happy.

What I haven't seriously dissected before, though, is why it brings me such joy. What is it about this activity that makes me so readily willing to drop a cool (imaginary) $10 mil on it?

As I'm searching for career guidance, for vocational discernment, for a sense of purpose and that all-too-elusive "life plan," what can I learn about my love for skating that might point me in the direction of a fulfilling professional contribution*? What are the underlying elements that bring me joy, and what are the transferable skills I can take away from skating? That is, what can I learn about myself through this hobby that might also shed light on what type of job I would enjoy?

Well, I'll have to think about that and get back to you. I also plan to include some blog-posts detailing the arc of my figure skating obsession, from the early days until now, though that will be mostly for (my) entertainment value. Not too sure I'll be able to glean any vocational wisdom out of the sordid tale, but you never can tell.

Happy Weekend! Hope everyone has some activity planned that makes them happy, in an ice-skating sort of way.

(*PS - thanks to Bananas' workshop for supplying me with "professional contribution" as a wonderful alternative to the stifling word/concept "career" )

Diary of a Girl Without Commitments

Today is my 5th day of Freedom since my class ended. The last 2+ months made for one long haul; pretty much every minute of free time was zapped by course work, with every other minute zapped by guilt when I wasn't doing course work. A vicious cycle, indeed, which ended Saturday morning at 9am when I dropped all my course materials in the mail and began...the Rest of My Life.

So far the Rest of My Life has been going ok. It started with that fortuitous vacuum cleaner sighting, and continued with a walk in Central Park. I hadn't slept at all the night before, but the day was too sunny and too Spring-y to stay home napping. While traipsing around the Reservoir, enjoying the newly-flowering trees and counting the number of turtles I passed (22!), I came up with the brilliant and hilarious plan to compile a portfolio of pictures of animal butts. (PS-If you don't agree that this idea is both brilliant and hilarious, then you probably aren't sleep-deprived.)

Please enjoy this sampling of my work, a photo I call "Double-Geese-Butt Shot":

The rest of Saturday and Sunday passed in a blur of productive cleaning and napping and recovery. I tested out my new M.O. of asking "What do you want to do right now?" instead of "What do you have to do?" It felt pretty good. Life felt pretty good, really - more interesting and hope-full than it has in a while. I took deep breaths. I took long walks. I stretched.

Sunday night my friend BANaNAs rolled into town for a couple of days, and we celebrated the Rest of My Life by eating good food & good pastries, and talkin' 'bout life, careers, Scandinavia, and of course, Kurt Browning. Leaving work Monday evening for a stroll up Madison Ave. with a friend, instead of rushing off to a coffee shop to spend quality time with my text books, felt great! More deep breaths.

Today, however, I fear the sheen of this newfound freedom is dulling slightly. I don't quite know what to do with myself, with my free time, and with The Rest of My life (ah, the $million$ question). Do I read this book, or that book? Job search? Watch a movie? Go to bed at 8pm every night? Take up oil painting and macrame and sign up for a tango class?

Now, what I really need to do, what my head & heart really need me to do, is a whole bunch of soul-searching, prayerful self-reflection. I'm not so good at reflection. It doesn't fit neatly on a To-Do list, because reflection often involves sitting quietly somewhere, not doing anything, ostensibly.

Nonetheless, there's no way around it. So stay tuned for more on what I've learned over the past few months, reflections on my future, and of course my ongoing struggle with time-management (now that sounds like gripping reading, doesn't it, people!?

Spring Cleaning?

This morning I saw a vacuum cleaner in a tree.

That's gotta be a good omen for something, right?

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Class is done. I am tired. But ready to write. You'll be hearing from me.

That's the (Right) Stuff

Just read on cnn.com that the New Kids on the Block are reuniting. I'm not particularly excited about this, but I thought you might be interested. 'Cause you were probably a big fan of theirs, back in the day. Me - not so much. I mean, maybe I had one (or two) NKotB tapes. And possibly the sheet music for their Christmas album. And I may have had a t-shirt with all of their faces on it. And also a keychain. But that's about it, really. Oh yeah - and Joey McIntyre and I have the same birthday, almost. But that doesn't really mean anything (except that we were clearly fated to be together...) Before you go judging me for the musical mistakes of my youth, I'd like to point out that I never owned this NKotB bedspread. But I'm pretty sure that Lauren, this girl who lived down the street from me, did. So if anyone is a crazed boy-band dork, it's Lauren. Not me. Let's just all remember that, please.

'Tunes

Have you seen that episode of The Office? After Carol breaks up with Michael (for oh, so many reasons), Mike sits forlornly in his office, wearing a Dunder-Mifflin bathrobe, listening to the sample of James Blunt’s song “Goodbye My Lover” over and over on iTunes. Dwight asks him, “Why don’t you just buy the whole song?” And Michael answers through teeth clenched in pain, “I don’t have to buy it. I just want a taste of it. I just want a little taste of it.” You remember?

I was just having a Michael Scott moment, where I found myself listening to the iTunes preview of a-ha’s “Take On Me” over and over. “Take…on…me (take on me!) take…me…on (take on me!) I’ll…be…gone…somethingsomething incoherent something...” You know the one.

It’s a fun song, right? Takes you back, doesn’t it? Maybe makes you want to dance like Molly Ringwald in The Breakfast Club? I keep hitting ‘Play’ to hear the sample again. I just want a little taste of it; don’t need to buy the whole song. If my iTunes library is the soundtrack to my life, I’m just not sure this song fits in. I try to picture myself having a “Take On Me”-apropos moment, and I have difficulty. Cynical 2008 Kristy fears that the up-tempo exuberance of “Take On Me” disqualifies it from achieving permanent “whole song” status in her iTunes music collection & personal life soundtrack.

Well, that’s kinda sad. Someone needs to take my Patty Griffin and Gordon Lightfoot cd’s away from me. I gotta make room in this life/soundtrack for more a-ha moments.