Conservatory Garden

In the northeast corner of Central Park is the Conservatory Garden, a garden whose formality is somewhat striking amid the rambling, ambling landscape of the rest of the Park. At the center of the garden is a large lawn; I stopped to admire its unblemished green grass, mowed in a cross-hatch pattern and protected on all sides by a thick hedge.

There were plenty of flowers, plants, trees, and fountains to admire in the garden, but the lawn held my attention for awhile. I thought it was maybe regrettable that the hedges made the lawn so closed off, and clearly meant to be "kept off" by any visitors to the garden. "What a shame," I thought, "Because a lawn that pretty deserves to be sat on, laid on, played on, blankets, frisbees, bare feet, all of it."

And I thought, too, "Such a pity that there is this plot of land in the middle of over-crowded NYC, and nothing is being done with it." I was on the verge of declaring the "un-used" lawn to be wasted, frivolous space.

But then God caught my thoughts and flipped them a bit. Are there areas of my life that are meant to be like this lawn? Kept beautiful and undefiled, though the rest of the world might consider it to be a waste?

We talk of sins of commission and omission; simply: a sin of commission is when you do something you shouldn't, and a sin of omission is when you don't do something you should. Are there not also blessings (or shall we say "mitzvahs") of omission as well? A time or situation where the God-glorifying thing to do is nothing at all? (A Sabbath comes to mind, for example.)

There are a great many worthwhile and good things that could be done with the space the empty lawn claims - it could be used for recreation for the hurried and harried, or a safe playground for underprivileged youth, or sold to developers to raise money for a local charity. The space could technically be put to good work for the care of humanity. But perhaps there is also a mitzvah in not doing any of the above, in omitting to do and instead just leaving it green and beautiful and protected on all sides.

I don't have the theology and life-application on this all worked out. I just saw a lawn today, and it made me think about God.

Yeah, what's up now, Doc?

Victory was mine today at the doctor's office. I returned to finish the bloodwork that my fainting spell interupted a few weeks ago.

As I waited for the doctor, I tried several strategies to calm my nerves and ensure that I would remain conscious.

First I tried: "Just focus on Jesus, think about Jesus, it's going to be fine, imagine Him holding your hand through it all..."
Then I tried: "Think about Mom, she was a nurse, she's very practical, what would she do?, imagine her holding your hand through it all..."
Then I tried the Jesus thoughts again.
Then I tried: "Ok, just look at your split ends, don't think about anything related to blood, or anything really, just focus on the split ends...split ends...split ends."
Back to Mom.
Some more Jesus thoughts.
Split ends again.
Interlude of wondering why doctors always keep you waiting.
Brieft moment of panic when I feared I may already be hyperventilating.
Deep breaths...deep breaths...

Finally the doctor arrived and starting pulling all the bloodwork tools out of various drawers. And I thought, "Ok, there is no way I can do this. I need to leave. I'll just tell her I need to leave, and that will just be the end of it. I'm fine, I don't really need bloodwork, I'm sure I'm not anemic or anything, so I'll put it off till next year, and I'll just be going now..."

But I was too scared to tell the doctor I was leaving, so I decided to be brave and stay. :)

And it was fine! The winning combination in the end proved to be: **lie down** (sitting up is no good!), look away from the needle, deep breaths, and think of Jesus. Then afterwards, call Mom to tell her how you were a big girl and didn't faint.

At times like these, who can believe I'm 28 years old!?

Madge, Denise and Edith's Boston Reunion

SJT was right - there is always room for one more in the hide-a-bed!

Urban Family Weekend

Diesel, Chantal and Bianca - thanks for stopping by! Next weekend in Boston, where there is always room for one more in the hide-a-bed.

'Member this?:

Photo shoots and the need for documentation.
"I always feel like a woman when I sleep on fitted sheets."
There is the distinct possibility that Chantal's co-worker is on crack.
"Je suis fatigue." "Did you just call me fat?"
Taylor the Latte Boy.
Dilemmas of purpose, singleness, emotions (or lack thereof), Patagonia, moving away and moving in...
Smelling tea in Moustache.
Many varieties of pie.
Coffee pot, satchel and hat searchin'.
Old man knitting in the window of the Point.
Piercing our noses (or at least pretending to consider it).
Japanese porn restaurant redeemed only by it's cotton candy machine.
Interpretive dance with brown paper napkins and Jessica Simpson ("explore the space!")
The downside of the Upside of Anger (next time: Phat Girlz)
Would you rather marry a man named Gerard or a man named Nancy?
Brazilian Espresso - a happy accident.
Psalm 138.
"Amazing love! How can it be that Thou, my God shouldst die for me..."
"The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance." -Spurgeon
The best crouton ever.
"Fantastic" and "offensive."
Sized up by Ralph on Orchard Street.
Egg Creams give our origins away to the older lady.
Tambourine and maracas.

Love,
KP

What's Up Doc?  (my favorite movie, and the title of this post)
As my day of departure from work draws near, I'm trying to make as many doctor appointments as possible before time runs out on my health insurance. Today I went to see my PCP for a check-up. She asked the usual doctorly questions (for which my answers are always "no" and I worry, unreasonably I suppose, that the doctor either thinks I'm extremely boring or lying).
Then Dr. L asked if I was under any stress. I said sure, work was stressful, but not to worry, because I am quitting soon. She inquired as to what I would be doing after, and I explained what I want to study eventually (Old Testament studies) and what I would be working on in the immediate future (learning Hebrew). She seemed pretty intrigued, and mentioned that she had enjoyed learning some Torah when her son went through his Bar Mitzvah.
She thought for a moment, then asked how much time Christians spend reading the Old Testament, in proportion to the other scriptures. I said "Not enough!" and explained that's why I wanted to go to school for it, so I could teach others how to read and enjoy this portion of God's word that is so often over-looked and under-studied.
Again I felt affirmed in my decision to take these steps to seminary, and the appointment went along swimmingly, until I brought shame upon my mother (a former Nurse) by completely passing out when they tried to draw blood. My mom tried to reassure me, tonight on the phone, that lots of people get faint during bloodwork, but in her heart of hearts, I know she is bewildered how she came by such a hyperventilating hypochondriac for a daughter. :)